If I am being 100% transparent, sometimes I miss being single, footloose and fancy-free! I spent my money how I wanted to, could go and come as I pleased, and was only responsible for myself. I didn’t have to worry about how my decisions would impact anyone other than myself. Let me tell you, I had a blast in my 20s. I was making great money, traveling, partying, had my own apartment, shopping so much store associates knew me by name. I mean, isn’t that what your 20s are all about?
As a woman in her 30s, I am now married for nearly 5 years to my high school best friend, and we have a beautiful daughter. Life has changed exponentially, and while there have been some rough moments, I enjoy motherhood and being a wife. This new status change in life has meant making some sacrifices. I can’t travel on a whim, late-night hang outs are far less frequent than when I was single, and honestly, my priorities have shifted a great deal. In the past, I would charge a vacation like it was nothing, and leaving for a party at 11pm was normal. Now? Pleeeeeeaaase. I’m in a scarf and leggings by 9pm! I have to think about saving for retirement, pre-school tuition, plus budgeting for Nina’s 5th Birthday Disney Cruise celebration. It’s real out here LOL! I don’t have rent anymore, I have a mortgage. Speech therapy for Nina is $200 month, and summer camp costs are approaching, and I am deciding whether or not I should find a strip club that will let me dance on plus size, C-section scar night, or put my husband on the corner to sell drugs on the weekend to afford all of this. I’m kidding, but adulting in the married/parenthood realm is hardcore and sacrifices–for me– have to be made.
I have a handful of friendships with single friends that are totally solid. However, some other friendships have gone by the wayside because our lifestyles don’t align anymore. Some friends will understand that taking that trip to the West Indies isn’t feasible at the moment, and others won’t. Some will understand that club hopping is no longer on the weekend agenda. For those that don’t, hey, life takes us in different directions.
Now, balance is everything. Just because I have friends that are unwed and without children, that absolutely does not mean that they don’t hold stake in my life. Some of my closest confidants don’t have a spouse and aren’t parents. Does the dialogue change? Certainly. However, that does not mean that I don’t value their time, loyalty and dedication to our relationship. Do I consult my single friends on wife/mother issues? Not likely. Other life things are totally up for discussion. It’s all about balance for me, and nurturing those friendships are just as important as making sure my friendships with other married friends with children are just as solid.
Bubbly Mama xx