Mama is Lost in Translation!

Being a mom is the best, I adore my daughter. She brings a certain light and happiness to my life that is hard to explain. I love watching her explore her world with such determination, curiosity and vigor. She is cheerful all of the time– she does get hangry like her mama– but she’s a cool, carefree baby. I mean this little girl is the cat’s pajamas, the dog’s tuxedo, and my everything! Among the coos, laughter and screams, I want to scream, too.

I believe most women are programmed and designed to face and tackle whatever comes our way. Creatively, strategically, persuasively, sometimes deceptively, we figure out how to get things done. We are strong, hear us roar, right? No! I don’t want to roar. I do not want to figure things out. I have jumped the broom, washed clothes, cooked dinner, made love, been on an unpaid maternity leave, given birth, changed diapers, cuddled, sang and rocked my sweet girl to sleep in the wee hours of the night. I do not want to figure things out. I am having an adult tantrum, and don’t tell me to put my big girl panties on. I won’t hear of it.

Ok, I am calm now. Don’t ask me to roar. I can do anything, yes. However, as a mom and a wife in a different location from a year or so ago, I am lost. I cry, I pray but I am lost and not sure what to do, because pre-Bubbly Mama, I had it all figured out. I had a successful career, my social life was poppin’, I had money to blow (not really, but I could buy a pair of shoes if my heart so desired them), and sleep was gloriooooous (said in my Oprah voice)! I would not trade being a wife or a mom for anything in the world, but I need to find me in all of this.

This blog is my personal project, it is all mine. I will speak about being a mom and a wife, but it is something that will be all my own. Hopefully, it will lead me on a path to redefine who I am in a world full of babies and husbands!

xx

Bubbly Mama

12 Comments

  1. Farah

    Oh wow! I love this Morg! I love all your feelings because I have had them all as well. The only advice I can give you is that it is ok to feel this way. I think you are just like all the other mother’s who have these exact same feelings in their 30’s. I don’t think it’s uncommon at all. My favorite thing to do in this day and time in MY life, is to be quiet….and pray. And that is no lie. love u!

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  2. Mikah

    Awesome Morgan! My mom always told me, ” Don’t lose yourself. You gotta fight to keep Mikah”. It’s a struggle, but by the time she turns 1 you will have it all figured out. You can still do all those things, just learn to keep a planner 😉! And just kiss sleep goodbye I get it when I can and when I don’t I keep pushing! Love this! Can’t wait to see your evolution!

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  3. Michelle

    MJ, you are not alone! Being a new wife and mommy comes with glorious joy, but also feelings of isolation and questions of self. Add in the mommy guilt that seems intrinsic at birth and you have a recipe for feeling lost! As a Mama of teens, I can tell you that my first year of parenthood felt just like yours. My best advice, don’t lose yourself. Fight for Bubbly Mama. You will find your way.

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  4. Sadiqa

    I love this Morg!!! I am so with you and my daughter is 12!!!! Not married, so I have to figure EVERYTHING out on my own!!! Sometimes I want to throw in the towel!!! But I know that is not an option. Im trying to find my way still and I’m 40!!!!!! I have had breakdowns, cried, prayed, and cried again. My big girl panties are now giving me a wedgy. I’ve been told all my business “ideas” are great but I don’t know where to start. I am grateful…..but I AM SO TIRED OF THIS RAT RACE!!! I want to be more! I Am!!!! Again I Am more than my circumstance!

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  5. Sadiqa

    I love this Morg!!! I am so with you and my daughter is 12!!!! Not married, so I have to figure EVERYTHING out on my own!!! Sometimes I want to throw in the towel!!! But I know that is not an option. Im trying to find my way still and I’m 40!!!!!! I have had breakdowns, cried, prayed, and cried again. My big girl panties are now giving me a wedgy. I’ve been told all my business “ideas” are great but I don’t know where to start. I am grateful…..but I AM SO TIRED OF THIS RAT RACE!!! I want to be more! I Am!!!! Again I Am more than my circumstance! You did it before and you can do ot again. At least you have a team (a husband) that is very supportive. Dont lose yourself. Everything will be ok, you may feel alone, but that you are not. Keep fighting!!!!

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  6. Dana K

    Morgan, thank you so much for the courage to explore yourself so openly and publicly! A mark of a truely powerful individual on so many levels! I have always admired you. I’m not just saying this. I have always observed your honest zest for life, ability to experience joy in any circumstance and your contangious and unfaltering positivity have been qualities that I have found lacking in myself. I have learned the value of experiencing dark periods in life. For this is the journey of growing and it is in these dark times that we come to have the realizations necessary to create change within ourselves. That being said, I am filled with excitement for you! You are already one of the most remarkable women I have ever known. To imagine what you become as a result of this part of your journey is inspiring! Have faith that you are always exactly where you should be and sparkle like the glorious diamond you are. Much love and blessings,
    Dana

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  7. Bubbly Mama

    Dana, I really needed this this morning, because I’m struggling. I truly appreciate your kind words, and your will and determination always inspired me! I’m so happy that our paths crossed. Have an amazing week, thank you again for the encouragement. Keep following!

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